Valentines Day

Im sitting here thinking that valentines day is two days away... Me personally i have always thought the whole Valentine's day situation was over-rated. I mean the teddy bears and chocolate are a sweet touch and all but is it really that serious? Forgetful men running around at the last minute trying too find roses and rings, women getting all gitty thinking about how he will go out of the way to make her smile. Its just things that i feel we should do all the time for people that we love and the fact that we put so much emphasis on it takes away the sencerity.

If i kept all of the teddy bears and chocoloate that i have recieved over the years i would need a room. I dont like chocolate at all and teddy bears are cliche'. So how is it that corporate america has convinced us that if we pamper our spouses with gifts on Feburary 14th that we are doing something meaningful? Its the power of suggestion at work.

It's almost a contradiction in its self. We expect extravagant gifts for Valentines day but yet when our "special someone" asks what we would like...We reply with its the thought that counts. Now that doesnt really sit well well with me. I want my man to give me a gift because he was thinking of me and wanted to see a smile on my face. Not because it has been engraved into his mind that you give your spouse,crush,mistress, or whatever a gift on Feburary 14.

Dont get me wrong. I am a very loving person and i love the hell out of my man contrary to belief. Most of all i love days where im pampered and showed extra affection, I am a woman after all. I just dont think we should make such a big deal out of the situation. I hate the moans and groans of women (mostly) about how they dont have a valentine or how he didnt her what she expected. Love yourself, buy yourself something, spend time with yourself shit you might need it.

Realization

Today my boyfriend told me i don't love him anymore and i actually had to think about it. Do i really still love this man that at one point i couldn't live without? I no longer tingle when he kisses me or go insane if we cant sleep together. Now that i give it some thought nothing is the same about us anymore. He is the man that calls too much, he is too affectionate, he is messy, and mist of all he just annoys the hell out of me.

I mean on the outside everyone thinks we are the perfect couple. We are good but thats just because i know what he wants and he knows what i want. We do things to make it easier on each other. It's almost as if im with this man just because my family excepts him and i dont wanna take the energy out to make something else work.

Eventually i came to the conclusion that i dont love this man. Sadly i have also came to the conclusion that i have too much time and effort toward this relationship just to call it quits. If this means that somedays i will be miserable then so be it. This will probably be the man that i marry and have kids with.Maybe i should have stayed in my fantasy world where i had convinced myself that what we had was love.

None of this matters in the end. I will more than likely marry this man and have a beautiful photo album. We will probably have three kids who will not know the meaning of a broken home and we will probably be with each other for the rest of our lives. Or until he comes to his own Realization.

Stardom leads too Boredom

This blog situation can fall under the category of boring. I cant find anyone who is interested or to even wants read. Maybe im not doing something right. I have googled on how to find subscribers and how to subscribe to communities. That has proven to be as useful as a toothless comb. I know if i eventually hit the right audience then it will be okay but i dont know an audience of people to reach out too. I know what type of people would be interested but i dont know where to find them or what to say to get them interested. How can i get these people to even give me a chance? I have even started a blog on myspace. I havent used or had friends on myspace for years. Getting off to a slow start has led me staright into a world of boredom. I just add friends on myspace and ask them to view my blog. To be completely honest boredom usually means im ready to give up on a project because i dont feel productive. For some reason though I feel the need to work and try this "Blog" thing for a little while longer hopefully things will get better.

All new to me

Well hello to anyone that takes time to read this. Today i woke up and decided that I would finally start blogging. Although I have been well aware of blogs for years my curiosity has finally got the best of me. I want to share things that happen to me in life with others. I've even decided that i want my blog to be my diary. I miss the young feeling of just being able to write about the things that run through my head in a day. Eventually people will pay me some attention and even comment on my blogs. If not i will refuse to take it personal and continue to write for my own benefit. Please enjoy and never be afraid to share opinions or thoughts with me.